Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Dracula. They are only being used for this story and will be returned unharmed.
Notes: It is Alternate Universe, script style, and the characters are meant to be totally OOC. Actions are contained in []. Dialogue follows the characters name. * = Not in the original cast. Comments and Criticisms welcomed. Flames will be fed to my pet alligator, Fluffy.
Pairings: 1+2/2+1, 2+5/5+2, 3+4/4+3, 6+13/13+6
Warnings: Language; Yaoi; VIS’s; Cheesy Disco Music
=========================
[Act III]
[Scene i - En Route to Dracul’s mansion.]
[Duo and Quatre are playing a 1 on 1 handheld computer game, while WuFei critiques their battle strategies. Zechs is looking out of the darkened carriage window, trying to see the castle. Treize is staring at Zechs.]
Z: I didn’t realize it was going to take this long to get to the mansion. How long have we been driving anyway?
D [Not looking up from game.]: Three levels.
T: Can you translate that into a normal language, please?
W: Not easily. Duo, don’t jump on the frogs, they’re the good guys.
D: But they’re 40,000 points! [Duo’s computer beeps. Quatre grins.] Q?!
Q: Sorry, Duo. That’s what happens when you’re more concerned about points than the enemy. [Restarts game and laughs wildly.]
[Massive sweatdrop. WuFei takes both computers and turns them off as the carriage stops.]
W: We don’t need anyone going ZERO on us tonight.
Z: We’re here. Wherever here is.
D: Dum de dum dum DUM.
ALL: Shut up, Duo.
T: Zechs, hold me. [Clings to Zechs.]
Z: Don’t tell me YOU are scared.
T: No. Just ready for dessert.
[Attendant opens the door and is run over by WuFei, Duo and Quatre.]
[Cut to Scene ii]
T: Aw, come on, I never get to have any fun. [Pouts]
Z: For a dictator, you’re cute when you pout.
D: Somebody get the water hose.
[Scene ii - Int. - Dracul’s Mansion - Evening]
[Duo, WuFei, Quatre, Zechs and Treize are entering the house. A dark shadow looms beside Duo. He screams and jumps into WuFei’s arms.]
ALL: DUO!!!!!
D: What? I’m telling you that that ...that ...that ... thing looks like Barney! [Points to shadow.]
Q: It’s just a shadow, Duo.
D: Yeah, but it’s Barney’s shadow!!
Z [Opens side curtain to reveal a coat rack with several long capes and a large purple dinosaur head.]: See, it’s just a ... AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
ALL: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Cut to Int - Dracul’s study]
Tr.: I told you not to leave that thing on the coat rack.
H [Smirks]: I know. But it’s too much fun where it is.
[Cut to Scene iii]
[Scene iii - Int. Dining Room]
[Heero and Trowa are seated at opposite ends of a long table. Duo and Quatre are on one side, WuFei, Treize and Zechs are on the other.]
Tr.: And you’re sure it was a dinosaur?
D [Quickly downs third drink of the night and nods.] Yes. Positive. It was that purple dinosaur that sings that ridiculous song. [Music starts] ‘I lo--’
Q [Places hand over Duo’s mouth and nearly knocks him to the floor.]: Whatever you do, don’t sing that song. It may not be completely dead yet.
T [Sweatdrop]: Who’s idea was it to give Quatre the chocolate liqueur?
W & Z: Yours.
H: I’m sure he’ll be fine as soon as he eats something. [Motions to SERVANT to serve dinner.] But, just to be on the safe side, no more alcohol for Dr. Van Helsing tonight.
Tr. [Mutters]: Damn.
[Zechs eyes Trowa and smirks slightly. Quatre releases Duo and warily retakes his seat. Duo falls onto the floor and lays there for a moment, staring at the ceiling.]
T: Shouldn’t someone help him.
H & W: No.
W: He’s just being overly dramatic again.
D: You know, Count. You have a very interesting design on your ceiling.
Q [Leans back in his chair to stare at the ceiling.]: You’re right, Duo. That is a very interesting design. [Continues to lean back until his chair tips over and falls to the floor.]
Z: Maybe we should cancel all the liquor for the evening.
H, W & T: Damn. [Look at each other and glare.]
H [Stands.]: I’ll go tell the Cook. [Bows slightly then walks into kitchen.]
[Cut to Int. - Kitchen]
H [Walks over to a tall woman with short purple hair (NOIN).]: Cancel the wine with dinner. But make sure you add the right powder to the soup. We don’t want another incident like we had with HER. [Shudders.]
NOIN [Nods]: Don’t worry. I’ve made sure Dorothy hasn’t gotten anywhere near the food for tonight.
H [Nods]: Good. On second thought, don’t put anything in Duo’s. All it did last time was make him talk even more. [Sweatdrops]
[Cut to Scene iv]
[Scene iv - Int. Dracul’s Private Rooms]
[Cut to Scene v]
[Scene v - Int. Study - Dracul’s Mansion - Morning]
[Duo, WuFei and Quatre are--
D: Wait a minute! You skipped a scene! Where’s the wild orgy where all of us became vampires?! [Pouts]
Q: Yeah! I was looking forward to having Trowa for dessert.
D: Hey!! I thought you weren’t interested in Bang-boy!
H [Holding nose]: What can I say? I like brunettes.
W: Too bad Merquise didn’t hear you. He’d probably be dying his hair as we speak.
T: Hmph. Anyway, can we get back to the orgy?
V #1: Do you really want me to write it?
ALL (but Zechs): YES!!!
V #1 [Sighs]: Fine.
[Cut back to Scene iv]
[Scene iv - Int. Dracul’s Private Rooms]
[Cheesy 70’s disco music begins to play as Heero walks into the room, now dressed only in the black pants. Duo and WuFei are sitting on the edge of the bed. Quatre and Trowa are standing by the window. Treize and Zechs are mysteriously absent. Heero grins slightly, baring his fangs. Quatre screams.]
Q: YOU ARE A VAMPIRE!!! Somebody hand me a wooden stake! [Reaches behind him and grabs what he thinks is a wooden stake. Trowa’s eyes widen.]
D [Smirking]: That’s a not a stake, Q-man.
Q: Huh? [Turns around and blushes.] Oh.
H [In a normal voice.]: Well, that ruined the mood. [Music stops.]
Tr. [One octave higher.]: Speak for-- [Coughs. Normal voice.] Speak for yourself, Count. [Picks up the smaller blond and carries him toward the door.] I’ll see you guys later. If we don’t come back in three days, send whipped cream and cherries. [Leaves.]
D: Well, now that they’re gone ... [Grins and looks at WuFei and Heero.] Now to have some fun. [Laughs maniacally.]
H: Strange, I thought I was supposed to be the scary one. [Runs to the door, only to find it locked.]
[Cut to Int. - Guest Room]
[Treize and Zechs are sitting on the edge of the bed, playing what looks like a video game. Noin, HILDE, DOROTHY and CATHRIN are cheering them on.]
Z: Yes! I told you you were no good at Mortal Kombat.
T: Well, excuse me for preferring swords to martial arts. Although, this might be a good excuse for getting to know the dragon ...
Z [Hits him with a pillow.]: Hey! [Pouts then turns to Noin.] Oh well, so, is the Count pleased with our little gift?
N: Quite. Last I saw of him, he and Duo had WuFei tied up.
T: Sounds like they’re having fun. [Pouts] Why can’t we have some fun.
CATHRIN: Because we’re still waiting on the last guest. [Snicker]
T: Who?
[Door opens. A tall woman with brown hair, pulled up into two buns, walks into the room. LADY UNE smirks and walks toward Treize.]
UNE: Good evening, Treize-sama.
T: EEP!! CUT!! NEXT SCENE! ANYTHING BUT THIS!!! I CHANGE MY VOTE!!! PLEASE?!
[Cut to Next Scene]
T [Sighs in relief]: Thank you.
U: Damn. And I was so looking forward to trying out my new handcuffs.
T [Jumps into Zechs’ arms.]: Yipes!!
Z: Could I borrow those handcuffs?
T: EEP!!
[End of Act 3]
D: Gift?
Z [Sweatdrops]: Uh, yeah. You and dragon-boy for getting rid of Relena.
